I was embarrassed for her ...
Published: Sat, 03/14/15
is hosting, picking up lots of cool ideas
to create unique experiences at my retreats
and intensives going forward.
, whenever I attend any
event, I always take notes not just on
"what" is being taught but on "how" it is
being presented, down to the branding
visuals and cues used.
While I've gotten great ideas here,
I was also reminded of a very awkward
experience a couple of years ago
at another event.
One of the sponsors was an Image Consultant,
and when she took the stage, it was clear
she was rattled and feeling off balance.
Your audience always wants you to do well,
they are pulling for you. It was tough
to see her so uncomfortable, uncertain
of her slides, hesitant in her story,
and lacking confidence.
I remember, taking my eyes off her for
a minute, I was actually embarrassed to watch.
Instead, I looked her up in the workbook
we'd been provided (an impressive guide
to the 3 day event).
I was outraged! There she was smiling back
at me from a photo that looked to be at least
5 years old, different hair style, color,
and clearly younger.
She was in front of me live, telling me
about the three mistakes female entrepreneurs
make with their image and yet she didn't
even look like herself.
Now, I'm betting I wasn't the only one who
noticed, though I'm also betting I was the
only one outraged.
I felt a deep breach of integrity
and gap in her brand promise.
She was promising to take me from where
I was to a higher place in integrity and
authenticity with who I was (remember
this was a couple of years ago.)
But, she wasn't in integrity with who she was.
I see this way too often in online dating.
In fact there's a match.com "rule" 10/20.
Most people there are using pictures that
are 10 years old, and they are 20 pounds
heavier in person. EEEK!
It too often happens in social media
as well. And it means the point was missed.
The whole point to social media is to form
an online connection that turns into
a REAL TIME (offline) opportunity to meet
and move the relationship forward,
either in business or personally.
When you lead with a lie, it creates an
instant disconnect and feeling of betrayal.
The other thought that I always have is that
you don't like where you are now and aren't
willing to accept the changes that happen to
us all as we season and gain wisdom
(I am not getting older, just wiser!)
Dating online, I've noticed more and more men
(sorry not checking the competition) are
leading with pictures that are 10 years younger,
then when you click through the pics age as
you scroll down the page.
It's actually kind of funny. I usually like
the current image because I like honesty.
I just don't like them leading with who they
were, not who they are.
I use current photos only and like to brag that
I'm recognizable at fifty feet, and I am.
Do I have old pics that I love? YOU BET!
I simply don't use them anymore, unless they
are on a book cover because that's printed
goods that aren't changeable.
So, here's the point.
Be honest in who you are. Use current,
recognizable pictures in your media
and your marketing.
Even when you are speaking at a small local
event, networking at the chamber, or heading
to toastmasters, be sure that when you stand up
to speak, if there is a printed image of you,
it matches the person standing.
And get comfortable with your story, know that
the audience wants you to succeed. They are your
friends, not your enemies. We are also not
seeking perfection but your wonderful humanness.
When you make a mistake we'll roll with it,
what is embarrassing is when you appear entirely
unprepared. Because then, all I want to do is
give you a hug and schedule a second chance.
Wow, this turned out much longer than I expected.
I look forward to your comments and feedback always!
Discovered the pool here has a sandy beach,
and I'm going to be hard pressed not to play
hooky this afternoon to enjoy some rays and
sand between my toes.
Hugs,
Melissa
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